In what is maybe not such a unique childhood fantasy, I wanted to be an actress. My best roles and dramatic award speeches were performed in the bathtub. I wasn’t one of those kids who sang and danced on the coffee table for company. It’s a little embarrassing to admit, but I was doing those speeches into my teens. But by then I had mastered the format. I was going to have that audience in the palm of my hand. I’d make them laugh, then cry…the speeches themselves would be award-worthy performances!
Grammar school plays and dance recitals fed these fantasies but the truth is I had no idea what it meant/took to be an actress. Which became apparent when the stakes were raised in high school and I was easily intimidated by girls who had actually been working at this in a serious way.
I bowed out. I didn’t have the passion. The drive. The guts.
By the time I got to college, I quickly became 100% focused on the Child Life track. My career until today. It wasn’t until I worked at Gay Men’s Health Crisis that the acting urge even saw the light of day again. I will forever be grateful to those theater boys for seeing something in me that I had buried.
And yet….I did nothing.
Flash forward to the spring, 2008. And an irregular mammogram. Scan, wait, test, wait, biopsy, wait, wait, wait. During that time my thoughts ranged from –I’m not worried, there’s no way I have cancer– to –I should start organizing my life in case my body is riddled with cancer and I’m about to die.
I wondered about regrets.
I’ve lived a wonderfully full life so I didn’t have many. Just one, as a matter of fact. That I never pursued acting. So when I was finally given the “all clear” I decided to find a place to study. Try googling “acting schools in NYC,” why don’t you. I was totally overwhelmed not to mention intimidated. I wasn’t telling too many people about this because I thought they’d laugh or try to discourage me.
I took my first technique class at HB Studios with Joe Daly in January, 2009. Then onto scene study, also with Joe Daly. And then I followed Joe out to a new school, Working Actors Studio. And along the way adding new friends in the form of fun, talented, inspiring classmates. I don’t know if I would have continued if I hadn’t landed in such a supportive environment.
Then in December, 2010 I started singing…and in January 2011 went on my first (ever) audition. What followed wasn’t anything on the agenda.